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Laid back; chilled out.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


I was taking a long walk around the park after dark, as Jill Scott would say, when I finally got it:
I like too many people, and never get with any of them.

Then I walked some more and thought about more stuff:

Closure is great. I'm finally over someone, a virtual thorn that's been in my backside for like 2 years. Met up, by pure coincidence, like a month ago, and by the end of the night when I had to get back home, I didn't feel a thing toward her. I still don't. Whew, now I can move on.

I met 3 separate girls when they were very young. Then I met them again much later, and damned if they haven't transformed into real dime-pieces, all three. I kid not. [One of them though is like a fortress: moat, high walls, shards of glass atop those walls, sentries, Dobermans... - the works.] They're all grown up now, well past legal & all, but I feel like a perv when I start thinking dirty thoughts about them. My boy's like: Hey, the grass is green, so play ball. Easy for him to say.

I think I like some girl primarily because she's fine. Does that justify my liking her? Isn't that akin to treasuring some empty, bejeweled vase, only to have it fall to the floor and shatter, rendering it worthless? I really like this vase tho. Plus, I'm starting to see that it's got lots of stuff in it, and isn't as brittle as it first seemed.

The Man Upstairs really has my best interests at heart. I remember one time pleading with him, like: Please, please let me give myself to her. She likes me, I like her, so why am I holding back? He didn't say anything, but He did something - the girl & I drifted apart. Let's just say I'm glad we did.

Ever tried to holla at sisters - or cousins - at the same time? Don't. Did that once or twice, and lost them both. Yes, I was an idiot when I was younger.

I thought I liked PDA, and I do, but only just.

I'm not the most likeable cat in the world, but how can I get someone to not like me? Some people seem to pull it off with no trouble at all. Not I. I can't be a complete jackass to a woman, though I can easily get halfway there.
In the same breath, why aren't most of the girls I really like accessible? Drives a negro crazy. But then again, I seldom know what's good or bad for me, so I leave it to The Man to do that for me.

And this is where the long walk around the park after dark ended.


Anonymous said...

aki you dudes are all the same.
one of my best friend is soliciting for my help in a breaking up with a chick.he has tried every kind of bullcrap and she is always "forgiving" him and he cant stand it.

|d®| said...

All the same? Was there ever any doubt? lol!

That's funny tho - always 'forgiving' him. That sucks. But hey, it's better than the alternative, as misguided as this forgiveness might be.

Anonymous said...

people try n act like jerks so someone won't like them, but I think it's a waste of time. Honesty works, as cliche as it has become, "Let's be friends"...(I kid...please don't use that line)

LOL @ high walls n moats n shards of glass....dang, she must be some ice princess...or is it just cuz she's never given u a chance?

Farmgal said...

I see you were on a >de-tox walk lol.

That case where you feel like a perv..just lenga cos if thats the way you feel, no way you can get it on with her.

PDA is good but as you say, moderate PDA.

"Please, please let me give myself to her. She likes me, I like her, so why am I holding back?"

Dude whats up with that..peeps normally pray like this "please please let so and so like me"

And as d said, if want someone to stop liking you just tell them the 'thruth'!

|d®| said...

>D: Never gave me a chance? Maybe. Or maybe I haven't taken the chance, thank you very much, hotshot.

She cool tho, even cooks for me, and that's all it takes. Yeah, I'm E-Z like that!

Shoot, she'd even drive a trident right thru me - and she would, figuratively speaking of course - and I'd keep smiling.

>Farmgal: Oh, best believe I've used up mad bandwidth, clogging up airwaves, asking The Man to make someone like me. I don't these days tho coz like I said, what I may like may not necessarily be good for me.

And no, I've no problem breaking things up, tho most of the time it's the other way around. lol! I'm a little too old for unnecessary bullsh*t. [Or is it much too old?]

Anonymous said...

introspection, walks in the park, in the dark, alone i hope, hence the PDA and no its the electric type that came to mind first...old habits..and fine does help lots in the liking behaviour...stuff for a full post...and substance in beauty is not altogether foreign, rejoice that its there...as this post is all over the place...my neck is sore...whiplash perhaps? then, you trying to toss someone? i sincerely hope its not the lass from the previous posts? i am sharpening my simi...

|d®| said...

Whiplash? Funny!
Yeah, my epiphanies tend to happen in short, rapid bursts.

The lass? She might've been snuck in here and there in some of my posts. I'm not at liberty to even hint at who tho; I'd be 'd-e-d' dead.

But yeah, you're absolutely right - I should be glad there's substance shrouded in that savory frame.

Anonymous said...

why aren't most of the girls I really like accessible? Oh the age old question just cant have what i want! thinking of a post already.

|d®| said...

By all means post away! I'll keep my eye on you.