I don’t understand it. I just don’t.
I think I’m sometimes a real dummy when it comes to relating with women. Not that I get tongue-tied with them; if anything I’m more expressive than I’ve ever been. Not that I’m disrespectful – far from it. Not that women don’t like me, or I them. Maybe I might be overconfident, or not confident enough? Neither, I don’t think.
So what’s the problem? Let’s see if I can rationalize my way through this one:
Well, I [try and] keep away from casual sex, especially because I’m hopelessly attracted to badass girls, the type that can hang with the fellas and punch you in the face if you messed with them. As interesting as that might sound, it’s a little overboard for me right now. Some form of stability can be a good thing - a little less belligerence, a little less drama.
I’ve encountered rare ‘specimens’ over the past couple of years, women who have their heads screwed on right as in smart, funny, ambitious, who are tired of the chase – all that good stuff. It’s usually great for a little while, but then it’s downhill all the way from then on.
And why? Because I’m ice-cold. My heart might as well be hewn from a chunk of arctic ice. It’s probably from all those years of shutting feelings out and building walls up. It was easy putting them up, but it’s hell tearing them back down. But I’m getting a little better, I’d like to think. Matter of fact, I feel just like Musiq in his ‘TeachMe’ joint.
And now, off to fan some dying embers, hoping there’ll soon be some sort of flicker.