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Laid back; chilled out.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Durrty Dozen

Why are we men such horny bastards?

Oh, and why are women such horny bastards, though undercover?

Is sex overrated or do people not know to do it right?

Why does the tip, if y’all know what I mean fellas, get all sensitive after the deed?

Why does your baby gurl’s eyes roll back when the…. ummm…. arrow first slides into the quiver?

Why leave scratches on a brother’s back? Not to mention those bite-marks on his chest? Why?!

Wsup with all the screaming? You realize those girls in porn are only acting, right?

Why we
won't go downtown? Well, I realize, like the phrase goes, that you don’t go downtown every city you go to. But why are most Black men reluctant to go there?
Shoot, I be swimming with the fishes!

Hmmm, why? Why are white women taking over the fellatio crown? Black girl, try to at least show some enthusiasm when faced with the… ummm… task. Watch your eye though.

No, I won’t lick your toes. Maybe higher.

Why keep marking your territory? No one else will find the lipstick in my car or the earring in my bathroom! At least I hope no one will!

Why you frontin’? Like TI says, why you keep saying no while your panties so wet? We’re grown folk; let’s cut the BS!

[On another note] Shoot, even Nike® makes mistakes. Check it out;
the one at the bottom is the close-up of the text.


















17 comments:

mocha! said...

I have one:

Why do men curl their toes when being given good head?

LOL @ Nike's mistake. Now that is a MAJOR shrub on a commercial level.

D said...

Why? Hell if I know, but if someone finds any of these things out, please enlighten the masses. By the way, not all horny women are undercover. Some are explicit with theirs and come 2 seconds short of spellin it out in rather crude terms. (Cut thru the intros- wanna f*?) lol. Trust me, i've been around such females and needless to say it was a hilarious momen for me.

acolyte said...

Good to have you back even if briefly!
I think that sex isnt meant to be mindblowing, I think at times you just have okay sex and if you have a bad partner or bila skillsl; boring sex!
Not all peeps get sensitive, some us start thinking of ways to slide from the mama on our chest and bounce!Or how to parry all the mushy committment questions.
I for one will say I just dont step South of the border.My excuse?Allergy to vaginal fluids, bwehehehehehehe!!!
I think in some ways junug mamas are more freaky hence the head skills!
As for marking territory, I think it is subconscious for mamas.
As for Nike, they need a kamusi asap!

Msanii_XL said...

We have scuba diver in the hizouse...LOL

@Aco you think wrong my friend

Ciiku said...

Aco..... ati allergies???? Pole daddy.... down town visit NI LAZIMA!!!!!!

Hmmm, why? Why are white women taking over the fellatio crown? Black girl, try to at least show some enthusiasm when faced with the… ummm… task. Watch your eye though.

They have to make up for not having bOOty....

D said...

PREACH ciiku, yes, they r tryin to distract guys from wat is lacking. when they're goin down on u, ur not even thinkin bout the lack of ass. Black girls, we want u to pay attention to our assets. lol

>d® said...

>Mocha: You're right; the toe-curling is definitely a dead giveaway that it's that good!
That Nike store is in Beantown's prestigious Newberry Street too, yet they have that shrub! Best store eva tho - 3 floors of stuff!

>D: Wsup mami. Not all women are undercover, you said? Yes & no. I mean, you can tell me like it is, no doubt. But can you be as frank with, say, The Dishwasher?

>Aco: LMAO @ your allergies!
Jungu mamas are freakier? Maybe; I'd say they're more... what's the word... willing?
Imma tell you what tho - a freaky black chick will have u sprung real quick! But you know that tho, living in ATL, where the ratio of women to men is like 8:1!

>Msanii: Yup! Snorkeling isn't enuff; gotta go deep sea! lol!

>Ciiku: lol! Could be! But why won't Black Girl, who I like so much, want to do it? I mean, she might do it, but she might not want to do it!

>D: Oh, best believe yours & every other girl's assets aren't lost on me! But, to speak for every other dude, what you gon' do with all that stuff up in those jeans? Y'all just want us to just look but not touch it?!

Ciiku said...

Wait a hot damn minute... just because I am not doing a freaking 100 m sprint to your dick dont mean I cant suck a mean dick.......

makanga said...

Do you want a deep see submersible vehicle? I've never used mine... you can have it.

It's in the playa rulebook to scan through the car and the crib before and after each liasion. Any violators should be staightened out and consequnces spelt out, a slap, a talking to, in your case, a deduction in scuba privileges or something like that, i don't know.

>d® said...

>Ciiku: True, and that's the point right there; Black Girl, it seems, does not wanna do it at all. White Girl, on the other hand loves the stick and wants it; and it shows.

>Makanga: Ha ha, a deduction in scuba privileges?! Funny stuff!

Hmmm, that's a great idea, actually!

D said...

lol. I can be as frank as i want to be and as he is in return. aight? N no, yall can touch, but don't make it like that's the only thing u wanna do, like that's all we're there for.

>d® said...

>D: Oh no, I wouldn't make that mistake. Not with you anyway!
Besides I wouldn't wanna lose to you AGAIN in a battle of wits, let alone a battle of the sexes!

ps: Your Dishwasher is raising eyebrows at our e-conversations; says I'm hittin' on you. Check your man girl, check your man! He don't want none of this! lol!

[Dishwasher: My bad dawg. Couldn't resist crackin' on you!]

D said...

He don't want none yet ur apologizin??? ooook. I don't have to check anything or neone. He can handle his own...pretty sure of it. We both know it aint like that b/w us....

>d® said...

I'm apologizing so he doesn't have to ask me anything about it!

D said...

Thanks! Way to step up

Udi said...

I like to bone, I'm a peaceful brother
Eat up so much the girls call me seafood lover
Be havin they legs shakin, stab 'em, break 'em
I'm Hercules Hercules when havin relations

>d® said...

>d: *backhand* :)

>Udi: Ha ha! "Eat up so much the girls call me seafood lover" ?!
I heard that! Shoot, the only seafood I don't want is crabs, & I don't mean the edible kind!