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Laid back; chilled out.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


[This is one of the longest posts I’ve ever written. Just a friendly warning.]

I’ve been psyching myself to write about my very first time in Florida and it’s slow going. I mean, if I could write that much about one night at a club [Platinum] how much more material do I have to break down after one week in Florida, know what I’m saying? It’s coming though, dear reader, it’s coming.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday is around the corner and I can’t help but admire the man more and more with each passing year coz he truly was one of the greatest revolutionists ever. He dispensed so much wisdom in so short a period it’s amazing. [See here] He’s a prime example that one man can indeed change the world. As black people, foreigners or not, we cannot take his efforts lightly coz if it wasn’t for him some of the everyday freedoms we take for granted today wouldn’t exist.

Why do we always kill some of the greatest people that ever walked the earth? Seems like everyone who talks about peace and who really cares about the well-being of humankind gets their ass killed. Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr. & Malcolm X, to quote a few well-known examples, were all peace-loving, liberated men but were all plucked in their prime. Are we really against ‘world peace’ [at the risk of sounding like a quote from a beauty pageant contestant] that much? Food for thought.

I sometimes think we’re our own worst enemy. Now, I love black people to death. We’re easily the most imitated [but never duplicated] people ever. Like Paul Mooney says, “Everybody wanna be a nigga but nobody wanna be a nigga.” Everyone imitates black culture but no one wants to be black – ain’t that a bitch? In addition, few other people/race have endured as much as black people have. One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard concerning ‘blackness’ is from back in the day during the Harlem Renaissance and it goes a little something like this:

Beatings, castrations and more beatings…
It almost passes human understanding
How a people can be so socially despised
Yet artistically esteemed;
So degraded yet
Culturally influential;
So ostracized and yet
A dominant editorial force in American life.

[Time to talk about some real everyday $hit]

Black people’s attitude is sometimes really f_ed up, and it makes me mad as hell. This is more so when it comes to the corporate world where this alarming trend is legendary in its proportions. For instance very few, if any, of the black people I’ve worked with really bust their ass at work. They always come in late, leave early, take hour-long lunch breaks when it’s supposed to be a half-hour long, call off sick every week…. I can go on and on. Good work ethic is so important, so very important. We already have one strike against us. Let’s not perpetuate the stereotype that black people are unreliable in the corporate world.

I know I’m far from perfect but I’m always on time for work, always, with the exception of the instances where the horrendous D.C. traffic leaves me no choice but to be late. You might think these cats really don’t care but my boss always cracks jokes like ‘Damn, I can set my watch by the time you step in through the door!’ This, however, makes him trust me implicitly coz he knows that I’ll be there to hold it down. Trust, dear reader, is of utmost importance, especially because it’s earned and not given. Even though we might feel they screw us over – as in we work too hard and earn too little – please get $hit done. No one bad job lasts forever. Not only that, but that readies you for the tenacity of that dream job, and high-profile jobs are extremely demanding most of the time. Even if you started your own business you’d need to really step your game up attitude-wise. You feel me tho?

What prompted this tirade though are some things that have happened recently. To jock mutumia’s style I’ll break it down like this:

Exhibit A:
I went to a Wendy’s the other day. This one is in the heart of Woodbridge [WB], VA. Now, I like Wendy’s better than The King or The Clown, if you catch my drift, and I particularly like their spicy chicken sandwich, which is all I ever buy there. Now, my usual Wendy’s is Caucasian-owned and managed and it follows, not surprisingly, that most of the employees are white. My chicken sandwich is always fresh there. The lettuce is crisp, the mayo is actually spread over the bun & the chicken is actually borderline-hot. Everything is tucked all nice and neat between the buns. I’m around and out the drive-thru in 90 seconds flat. Nice.
This one Wendy’s I went to in WB is Negro-owned and managed and – you guessed it – most of the workforce is black. Not only did it take a full minute for someone to take my order but there was 10 cars in front of me, the cashier gave me the wrong change & didn’t even apologize – or at least be like my bad, the sandwich was cold and the lettuce was soggy and wilted, the mayo was a huge glob on one side of the bun and the chicken was ice-cold and was hanging out one side like a virtual tongue!
I realize it could’ve been a busy day for them but yo, at least center everything between the buns. It’s really not that difficult!

Exhibit B:
So, yesterday – I mean Friday - I go to get my car’s registration renewed. I intensely dislike going to the DMV coz the lines – or queues for all y’all British-English-speaking folk – are ridiculous. [American English is so… so… annoying sometimes. It’s like having to re-learn terminologies all over again!] There’s this one DMV that everyone and their mama goes to where you’d spend the better part of the day waiting just to, say, pick up your tags, which should take all of 2 minutes to get it over with. This one DMV center I shall name ‘The White DMV.’
I discovered another little-known center someplace else a while back though. That’s where I went to coz I can’t line up all day long, nosir. There was almost no one at this center and I was elated. Let’s name this one ‘The Black DMV.’ Most of the workforce is black, as are the receptionists, two middle-aged ladies. So I go over there to reception and say hi. They didn’t even acknowledge my presence. They were engaged in animated conversation talking about:

“… so that was him you were talking about?”
“Yes girl, didn’t you read the paper? That was back in October.”
“Oh my God, that was you, the lady in the paper?
“Yessir. I thought I would die….”
And on and on and on they went.

My elation quickly fizzled and I was like:
“Uh, hello? I need to renew my registration.”
“Hold on one second,” bitch #1 said. [Excuse my French.] They kept on talking! My patience was really running thin and I was about to say something nasty when bitch #2 was like:
“Can I help you?”
“Yes you may,” I said, making no attempt to disguise my tone. “I need to renew my registration.”
“You need this form here and this form here,” #1 said, flashing a rainbow-colored 2-inch-long fake nail with sparkle all over it. #2 pushed a button to give me a number and #1 was like:
“Not ‘D.’ Push ‘C,’ remember? ‘D’ is for tags, girl.”
“Oh, right,” #2 said absentmindedly. No sooner had I been handed the number than their oh-so-interesting conversation resumed in vull vorce [wsup B.E.T.], as our High School Deputy always said.

Exhibit C:
Something happened to my phone in Florida so I went to Cingular to get another. It was another Black establishment. [Smelled funky in there too. The air quality reminded me of FCPD’s] I stepped in there and the reps were busy talking to other customers. I was the only one without a rep helping me out but there was this one rep just chilling. I didn’t know that’s what he was doing at first; looked like he was doing something serious coz he just glanced at me when I stepped into the store and went on doing something on his computer. I waited for like 3 minutes when this middle-aged Caucasian lady stepped in and the rep immediately smiled at her and was like: May I help you ma’am? I couldn’t believe it and I was like: Excuse me?! Then he had the nerve to say something like: Did you need help sir?
Lord, gimme strength!

Exhibit D:
[A1 can attest to this one. Wsup girl] Need I even talk about this one? I’m talking about our very own Kenyan Embassy in D.C. You’d think Western efficiency would’ve penetrated the inner workings of that establishment by now but no. It’s a virtual Nyayo House in there. I go to renew my passport and the receptionist lady was like: I’m not dealing with passports today. Talk to that man over there. When I go to the dude he’s shutting down his computer and picking his keys up and before I even say anything he’s like: I need to go. Talk to [dude] over there. I was speechless. I went back to the receptionist lady and was like: Look, all I need to do is drop this off. Can I do that? She was like: Just leave it here on my desk, at your own risk.
I usually don’t have violent tendencies but yo, that’s as close as I’ve ever come to bitch-slapping anyone. That kind of behavior is so unnecessary, so unnecessary.

Before I roll out, my beloved black people – and everyone else, of course, watch out now. King Jr. made it all better for us. Please take the time to click on the link at the beginning of this post to read some of the man’s quotes. Perfection isn’t attainable in this lifetime; we could all use some improvement, every last one of us. I reiterate from a previous post – complacency is a terrible thing.


Anonymous said...

I remember the American Embassy incident..it really is a shame that they could be that ignorant and rude for no reason whatsoever, just because they can be, i guess some bad habits couldn't be left behind..it really is embarrasing to think that those are my people, representing me on foreign soil! It's very sad, frustrating and annoying. Yes, that incident evocked every kind of -ve emotion i could conjure up at the time...A1

Poi said...

Great post, very well said and written. Can't agree with you more. M L King did set an example we should all try fall.

I'm so ashamed of those working in the DC embassy, how dare they have so much tenacity to not do their very own work?

mutumia said...

Before I blog on your blog let me break it down into 2 parts he he he

I think the whole "good die young" theory is true but mainly because they didn't get a chance to be old dirty bastids (not that I'm implying that MLK and dem would have spoilt like over-ripe bananas...).

'Cause I watched Lumumba the other day (great movie by the way- rent or buy it if you haven't watched it yet) and I was wondering if he'd still be revered if he hadn't been assasinated in his prime. Would he perhaps have gone the way of Jomo and Kaunda or (God forbid) Mobutu and Amin? Or would he have remained true to what he stood for like Mandela?

Would Biggie and Tupac (go with me for a minute. Sheesh Va. people- can't do nothing with them!), would they have ended up doing duets w/ Britney and Xtina? Or would they have been as true to the game kama Nas?

OK--- this is looking more like a 3-part essay :) Pole in advance.

mutumia said...

(not to be counted as a comment- I still have one more!)- I like the way you write... it goes down very nice and smooth.

Anonymous said...

@ >d
I had to visit my fellow smut readers blog!
The world is always cruel to innovators in any area, that and no good deed goes unpunished.
I feel you on the black work ethic 100%.After a bad experience and stomach troubles my small sis does not buy food from takeout joints that have predominantly black staff.But disclaimer here not all black people both here and home have a poor work ethic.But when in a daily paper back when they give someone special mention for doing their job doesnt it make you wonder?
As for embassies dont do DC do the other one I forgot where it us but my sis renewed her passport in record time.
Otherwise nice blog, keep it up!

|d®| said...

>A1 - The messed-up thing is that they're so nice to tourists seeking visas but so nasty to us Wananchis. That's f_ed up, really.

>Poi - So much for Kenyan efficiency, ay? They were probably trained at Nyayo house and don't know any better, punks.

>Mutumia - Feel free to blog here all you like!
Interesting twist you added to the good-die-young theory. I guess there's no real way of knowing what they could've been but they apparently accomplished what they were created for.
As for Biggie & Pac, I think they would've turned pop. Money changes things.
Glad you like my style. You aren't too shabby either, & that's an understatement! ;)

>Aco - I think the other embassy's in Cali somewhere. That will be a serious consideration next time, despite the D.C. one being right here. Thanks for stopping by!

mutumia said...

Part 2: Nina swali. Why does your boss allow this? (It isn't stated but it's implied that he's Euro-American- litigation ama low expectations?)

As for the DMV, I've kubalid is a repository for all people unfit for private industry.

So- is it melanin ama we're accustomed to agreeing to consistenly low standards when dealing amongst ourselves?

I think also the take-home moral of the story is that beware anyone with long nails and nail art. That is a sign from above that nothing is going to get done faw shaw (>d®, 2005). You feel me?

(OK end blog I promise!)

|d®| said...

>Mutumia - ha ha! Faw shaw, multi-colored talons seem to be a recipe for trouble, huh?! Not really tho coz they can be painfully pleasant at times - leaving crimson streaks in their wake on yours truly's back! [just kidding]

Not only does my boss allow it but he doesn't say anything - punk - as much as it might irk him. I sometimes fantasize about meeting him in some dark DC alley; my knuckles sometimes want to get real acquainted with his lower jaw!

Keguro said...

line is easier to spell than queue

once you teach english, you are happier some words are easier to spell

my poor red pen gets tired

Quote of the Day:

"yo, at least center everything between the buns. It’s really not that difficult!"

|d®| said...

>Keguro - LOL! I see that quote inadvertently came out as an innuendo! Good eye!

Whispering Inn said...

"We are our own worst enemies..." My sentiments EXACTLY!!! Black people need to look in the mirror.

|d®| said...

>Whispering Inn: Amen to that, bro.

gishungwa said...

aint it sad that we pu the blame on others yet we are doing it to ourselves. great post to the point and major wake up call.

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