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Laid back; chilled out.

Monday, December 19, 2005


n. pl. gul·lies A deep ditch or channel cut in the earth by running water after a prolonged downpour.
gul·lied, gul·ly·ing, gul·lies
v. tr. To wear a deep ditch or channel in.
v. intr. To form a deep ditch or channel.
Perhaps alteration of Middle English
golet, throat, channel.

This isn’t exactly the definition I was looking for at dictionary.com but it’ll do. It depicts some semblance of depth and that’s all I needed it to convey. For all y’all loyal performancefirst readers this word might sound familiar coz I used it at least once in previous posts.

Since I’m adult now and past most of the elementary bull$hit there’s a thing or two I’ve learned here and there. The hormonal levels have stabilized somewhat and I can finally use my brain to make some decisions that didn’t exactly rely on deliberation but more on emotion….. or lack thereof. Right after high school I was only concerned about a few things; I’ll try and group them into 3 categories: college, sex & money. [Not in that order] Some years later the concerns evolved somewhat into sex, money & college. [In that order] Some more years later they evolved yet again into women, college & money. [Notice the sex was replaced by women. I’ll explain later.] These days I can sum my concerns up as: women, career, college and money.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that the opposite sex is very much an influence in Yours Truly’s life. This is true for most men, I daresay. Deny it all you want but it’s true. Much, if not most, of what we do has something to do with a woman. That got me thinking: if women have that much influence over me, then I really should take that very seriously. I’ve seen grown men crying, begging and tore up for months on end over their women and I’ll tell you what, it’s a sorry sight. It’s understandable though, coz a woman has the ability to make you the happiest person on earth or the most miserable, all with a few short words. We’ve all heard/used them at some point. Here are a few examples:

- Let’s just be friends

- It’s not you, it’s me

- I love you too much to be with you

- We seem to be headed in opposite directions

- I like you but I don’t love you

- [a variation of the previous one] I love you as a friend but nothing more

- [or better yet] I love you but I’m not in love with you

Fellas, I know you’ve heard or administered some of those lines and we all know, male or female, that they’re total bull$hit. If you ever hear any of these, the other party doesn’t wanna be with you, end of story. Pucker up and move on.

The transformation from sex to women as a priority was nothing short of revolutionary. Sex is only sex. If you take the time to know who you’re messing with the experience is a whole lot different, a whole lot better. It’s a lot more ‘gully’ being with someone I’ve known for some time than someone I just met, that’s faw shaw.

Which brings me back to the gully issue. After twenty-something years of existence I’ve finally had a breakthrough where the opposite sex is concerned:

I need me a girl that’s gully.

*This is a dedication to The One Girl. She who thinks I’m the best thing that ever happened to her. She who laughs at all my stupid jokes. She who doesn’t trip when I’m out with the boys. She who’s down for whatever, whenever, however. She who knows that I can be a lying, cheating bastard but who doesn’t trip coz she knows I’d never cheat on her with another chick and who also absolutely loves >d2, ha ha! She who trusts me, but also whom I’ve hurt by being afraid to commit.*

What is ‘gully,’ you ask? Like the definition suggests, gully suggests depth, an infinite space that can accommodate whatever. A girl who’s gully is all that and more, as I will detail. Forgive me for hyphenating points two posts in a row but granted, that’s the easiest way to enforce/reinforce the noteworthy.

- She's confident about herself in anything. I realize there are no absolutes so I will re-phrase this point as such: She’s confident enough in anything; confident in her love/like for me, in my love for her.

- She loves a brother and she’s not afraid to show it. I absolutely love a woman who admits that she’s feeling me. Contrary to popular belief, that doesn’t evoke any cockiness on my part. If anything I like her more.

- She trusts me. This covers so many situations: When I look at another girl she doesn’t trip. When I say I’m going out with the boys I’m REALLY going out with the boys. When I’m away for the weekend she’s secure enough not to wonder if I’ll be ‘sowing my royal oats.’

- She can do OK without me. Despite her affection for me, she’s strong enough to do OK without me if I’m stupid enough to mess up. That’s the kind of woman my crazy ass needs. Keeps me on my toes.

- She recognizes and accepts my imperfections. I like to test the limits of endurance. Not only that, but I constantly live on the edge in so many ways. Please let me do doughnuts in icy roads. It’s fun for me as much as it makes you queasy. Allow me to dance to ‘Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer’ at Walmart even though it’s embarrassing. Don’t trip when I ‘feel up’ the mannequins at Victoria’s Secret.

- She likes me for me, not for who she thinks I could be. At the first sign of a chick trying to change me, I’m out. I have and always will welcome constructive criticism, as everyone should. Tell me I need to change something, I’ll think about it and do it. Try and force things and it’s a wrap. Like, don’t throw away my 5-year-old pair of sneakers; they’re comfortable. I have 2 subs in the trunk because I want it, not because I need it. Even though Maroon 5 might be a band that appeals more to teenage girls I still like them, what. Most of my friends are female. I will not cut them off just because you don’t like it.

Of course there’s much more in between the lines but that’s basically what gully is to me. I’m always open to suggestions, so hit me.


Anonymous said...

This is such a good post >d - I will have to read it again ...

Consider this a non-comment - oh, and I love that you have picked the 'first here' mojo on my blog - tihihi - can I claim first comment status here :)

|d®| said...

I was shook when I realized I was first, coz usually there's a mad scramble to be G-Spot's first. Yeah!

Anonymous said...

Lets get this point out.. I am down with all your points but did we have to go here " dance to Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer’ " - ok that is disgraceful, we need to talk :)

Having said that, this post is 'gully' - I love that word, can I borrow it? I promise not to abuse it, just use it once in a while... I get a feeling this is going to be a long comment so just go away and read it when you have sometime...

I like the fact that you realise what you need from a woman, most men just need something in a skirt and pulse - ok just kidding... but consider this my comeback..

I need me a man (a pulse will help here). ok G get serious (told you this was going to be long)I think I need Marvin to help me out :(

A man who is emotionally available, none of that stuff of giving me half of you - its tiring to always try to figure someone out.

I need a man who isnt threatened by me; I am with you, dont keep second-guessing whether I truly love you, if I say I do, I do. Get over it, and yes, you deserve me.

I need a man who isnt threatened by my independence - I can do stuff for myself you know - I can assemble a complete music system/dvd player/computer/somesuch gadget without the operations manual, I can nail a...er... nail to the wall, I can cook and clean and wash and iron and dry and talk geek and watch sci fi and discuss football and cry yes, I am female.

I need a man who doesnt wanna take over my life. Some people just want to be the centre of your world, if I love you, then I love you, I do need my own space so find some fingers to findle with sometimes.

I need a man who isnt afraid to declare his love for me, all the time. That mumbling has to go - its not girly to be sweet and caring and show it.

I need a man who lets me sleep (Ok I realise that is a bid ME but hey, I need more sleep that a normal human so if you cant stay in bed with me all day, go find some other 'finger' - not the ones mentioned above - to findle with somewhere.

I need a man who realises that I have more boys than girls as friends, and no, I have never slept with some (some I have, but we are cool like that)and they are not tryin to sleep with me. I respect myself and DO NOT CHEAT - so be comfortable in the knowledge that I can spend all day with a man, spend lots of time on the phone with them, without wanting to undress them the moment you turn around.

Have I exhausted my quota of comments? *sigh*

I need a man who appreciates and isnt threatened by my intelligence - I know I can be scary at times with it, but my mind has a ...er.. mind of its own and I cant always tell you where its going next, so how can you.

Ok, I realise I have my own blog, and need to write this there, but what fun would that be, eh? Just trashing your blog is fun - and at least the usual suspects wont find out what dirty laundry I have been ovyo ovyo washing in public.

LOL I know I am crazy, but I loved this post and dont you even think you have heard the last of me.

Enjoy the afternoon...

|d®| said...

Thanks for the input G. All solid points you put out there.

You can lease the 'gully' word for a fee, monetary or otherwise. Feel free to discuss the terms!

A man with a pulse, huh? Funny. A pulse you can feel or a pulse you can see? lol

By all means, feel free to 'unleash' over here at performance first. After all, you currently hold the 'first comment' crown!

mutumia said...

Oooh your blog is TIGHT!!! Going back to archived items....

|d®| said...

Thanks, Mutumia. Yours is hilarious; starting from the beginning too.

Poi said...

I'm loving the definition and strong points to protect the gulliness...

I'm getting hooked on your blog, just found it today and dang!

|d®| said...

Thanks Poi. I'm reading yours too. Pretty new to the blogging thing but I'm loving it.

gishungwa said...

"Please let me do doughnuts in icy roads. It’s fun for me as much as it makes you queasy. Allow me to dance to ‘Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer’ at Walmart even though it’s embarrassing. Don’t trip when I ‘feel up’ the mannequins at Victoria’s Secret." totally humorous.
Thoug am with Guess on hte whole what a man should constitute not like a perfect man more like realistic veiw of the whole thing. Still great post.

Farmgal said...

I ‘feel up’ the mannequins at Victoria’s Secret

Well said, just today I was thinking of someone I dated. He made me do away with all my friends (99% are male) and replaced them with all his women and friends. It sucked!

Relationships can be easy if only people were secure in themselves.

Loving your blog am reading all the archives.

|d®| said...

gishungwa - yes, I can act a fool sometimes. Sometimes, in retrospect, I wonder why I do some of the stupid things I do.

farmgal - you feel 'em up too, ay? I like. And yes, for once I'd like a woman who trusts me.

Farmgal said...

@D I feel them up but only coz I have to! its my job to feel them up once in a while...are you jealous? hehehehe
are you having a blast in the sun?

|d®| said...

>farmgal - Like I just told my friend Wamsy, lingerie-clad bodies, fake or not, are irresistible.

Loving the sun, loving it! I can speak volumes about it but I wouldn't wanna rub it in!

Anonymous said...

NICE >d u and Guess have summed it up, i have nothing to say on the topic. keep on keeping it real

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