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Laid back; chilled out.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Finally, it's Black History Month!
[I know, the shortest month of the year]

In years past I've had several fiery black-related posts, mostly pertaining to the things we need to change about ourselves. This year tho, I'll flip it on y'all, and talk about the things I love about being black. Let's, for a minute, forget our bling-loving, chrome rims-coveting, bluetooth-toting, sunglasses-in-club-wearing selves and talk about the good things about being black:

- Rhythm: It's no secret that we've got it - we can dance our asses off. And in time to the music too. Like, it amused me to no end watching my Caucasian counterparts attempting to do Young Joc's 'It's Going Down' dance and failing miserably. Or, when's the last time you saw anyone who wasn't black attempt dancing to Lingala, except a few white West-African [French?] honeys?

- Athleticism: It's a well-known fact that we dominate virtually every sport we seriously attempt to be good at. It doesn't matter what it is - we'll excel in it. American Football: conquered it. Basketball: excelled in it, despite certain closed-door jokes that NBA stands for No Brains Allowed. Watching Usain Bolt blur his way around the track only reinforces this. Now, if only our black asses could get accustomed to winter and water sports...

- Church: Black people love God. There's something in us that just succumbs to The Man. We reverberate, and respond to, things of the Spirit.

- Music/Soul: Where do I even begin? Black people are so musically inclined it's ridiculous. We revolutionized music, changing it from boring, ballroom, elevator-type sleep-inducing chords to joints that make people wanna strut their stuff on the dance floor.

- Swag: Think Will Smith in the first Men in Black when he said that he made it look good. That's nothing but truth - no one's got more swag than we do. Not to be confused with being showy, though there's a fine line between the two. Swag is more confidence than it is boastfulness.
For instance, look at Obama. Dude's got swag like no other prez before him. Maybe that's why they called him an elitist. No, douchebags, that's swag for your triflin' ass.

- Ass: *sigh* I love the booty. It makes everything on a woman so much better. There might be something hardwired into the black man's dome that has the propensity to covet a good-sized booty, coz some of my white friends don't care much for it, but Lord knows I do. The bubble is where it's at, and there's no booty like black booty. Even better is African or Jamaican booty.
[For an extreme example fellas, Google/Bing Angel Lola Luv. Thank me later.]

- Humor: Hands down, black people are the funniest on the planet, bar none. Do I even need to explain this one?

- Resilience: To quote something I once heard:
It almost passes human understanding how a people can be so socially despised, yet artistically esteemed; so degraded yet culturally influential. In short, we're some tough SOBs. Give us lemons & we make lemonade. Give us pig or chicken feet and we learn to love them. Colonize us for decades and we kick your ass out eventually; enslave us and we break ourselves free.

What more can I say? I'm more than comfortable in my own skin. Love yourself, whatever color you are. It's our differences that keep this zoo exciting.


Hip-Hop verse of the day:

"See I am the Doctor Spock and I'd like to say hello
Uh to the black to the white, the red and the brown
The purple and yellow..."

Def Squad in Rappers Delight


Guessaurus said...

NB: They had to keep Feb short so as to keep all the riff-raffery out of claiming a connection with it .. ok, so I am a Feb kid, but hey?

In other news, nice post there kid - I was more laughing than nodding but agree with you, a lot.
I love being black and I wouldn't change it for all the .. mbuzi in Murang'a LOL .. and believe me, I am 'blackening' a few beings who need a tad bit more melanin, but the 'right' way.

You forgot: We excel at rhetorical questions like: Know what I mean?

Will be back here to read again, after I have dispensed a few snowmobiles to come unbury a human or two around the Virginia area :D
Yeah, taking the piss feels so good right now, don't hate!

MisterNV aka Cloudvillian aka Swagger Like Moi said...

Salutation to you, |d®| for this very timely post.
Re: Rhythm- Them white honeys’ skills are a direct result of the growing number of sans-papier Congolese and Ivoirian n*ggas out there in France. Once you go black… {you know the rest}
Re: Athleticism – I assure you if a time comes when the Black Community finally musters even the teeny tiniest respect for winter and water sports, we’ll have black Shaun White’s and Black Michael Phelps’ taking over that sh*t. N*ggas prefer ball sports coz they’re more widely known and watched. Yup, we’re all in it for the glory and limelight.
Re: Swag- *furiously nods head in approval*
Re: Ass - *looks around the room* *googles Angel Lola Luv* *scrolls up, down* *zooms in and out* *pauses* *http://www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/Id-Hit-It/1/719-Fist_of_an_Angry_God.jpg*
Re: Resilence: Very powerful quote and very true, indeed.

|d®| said...

>G: lol @ the melanin, the right way.

Yeah, being 'ebony' rules. Like, over the spring, when it starts getting warm again, I cringe at the sight of all the ghostly-white legs walking around. Ghastly.

But summertime is best: boss-man goes on vacation and comes back looking like Hellboy - too funny. Then, I go to my lil' cousin's soccer games and everyone Caucasian's busy SPF-ing and applying sunscreen, trying to stay away from direct sunlight. Meanwhile, I'm splayed over on the grass, soaking the rays up and loving every minute of it.

Thank God for small mercies!

|d®| said...

>C-Vill: You're a funny man, Mr. Villain.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Angry God photo. And aren't Lola Luv's... er, gifts just awe-inspiring?

And I always wondered about those French honeys; I knew there had to be some negro influence, loosening those hips up. Their gyrations are just too fluid!

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KK said...

Thank you.... U know why:)

I see this ano(noyi)n solicitor has found you. Bugger forced me to start moderating my comments... as if I don't have enough work as it is.

|d®| said...

You're welcome.
[insert conspiratorial grin here]

And yeah, this solicitor hindiot has me heated.