Hindsight is 20-20, they say. I believe it.
It’s only now that I realize that a gem could be right before me, but I would be more interested in some rhinestone that wouldn’t do me any good. Like any man, I’ve always been hopelessly attracted to the seemingly unattainable. Maybe I was on an ego trip, fantasizing that any woman would be powerless to resist my advances. [Though that theory got shut down real quick] Maybe the accessible paled, in my sight, at the inaccessible. Or maybe I was merely looking for complication in what was otherwise uncomplicated.
Like, I’ve always been attracted to bad girls, knowing full well it would end up all sour. Meanwhile, a good girl might’ve been right before me but I’d paid her no mind. Maybe it’s because I’ve been described as a good dude [as emasculated as that might make me seem] that I’m attracted to wicked chicks. Maybe it’s because I’m a glutton for punishment, the kind that only a bad girl could bring. Or maybe I like bad girls because they seldom want to stake any claim on yours truly.
For instance, there’s this one bad [-ish] girl I’d known for a minute. She wouldn’t let me wax it, let alone touch it, or even look at it. It drove me crazy for the longest. Then we drifted apart. In retrospect, that was the best thing that could ever have happened, coz I wouldn’t wanna spend a lifetime begging for it, if you catch my drift. I can’t hold grudges, so I try to salvage what might still be left of our shattered friendship. Funny thing is tho, she still be acting like I’m trying to push up on her. Truth is, the only reason I even try to reach out is because I can’t stay mad at anyone for too long; I try to get rid of all negative energy. It’s funny to me how she constantly misinterprets my efforts, especially since the feeling is long gone.
Meanwhile, my ignant ass is over here neglecting, and failing to recognize, a good thing when it hits me in the face. Not no more. Show me love, I’ll show you love. Grit on me and I’ll grit right back, toe-to-toe, blow-for-blow. Why climb over the hill when you can go around it?
That said, and seeing how it’s 3.30am, I gotta flash out. One.