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Laid back; chilled out.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

GROWING PAINS

For those who refer to movies as their sole sources of inspiration, good for you. You know, you who constantly quotes phrases like ‘You complete me’ or ‘I’ll be back,’ not to mention ‘It’s nucking futs.’ For all y’all, I’ve got one for you from the first Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility. Only I will rephrase it as such: With growing up comes great responsibility. Consider that the thesis statement of this post.

[I’d like to thank my girl CK for being my partner in crime this past weekend, and to Wams for masterminding all the fun.]

There were times I used the L-word [and I don’t mean lesbian] with every other girl I wanted to mess with. Not any more. You see, for me that word was a means to an end, not so much a confession to the other party. As I grew older, I realized that a lot of women take the L-word seriously, and that complicated things to the Nth degree. With that realization, I vowed to never use that word again without really meaning it.

I had a profile I was attracted to. Allow me to explain: I’d like to think that every dude has certain qualities he’s attracted to in women, coz I do. When I was younger, fineness was everything, as in the finer the girl the better. I realized real quick that some of the most beautiful people do the ugliest things, as Kanye put it. I was attracted to the tall, slender type and I still am, but not exclusively – not no more. Ever since my one tall, beautiful, slender chick shattered my world to smithereens all those years ago, I now know better. I’d rather be with an average-looking chick that stimulates me and with whom I connect, than with a drama queen dime-piece who bores me stiff.

I’m getting a little tired of the chase. There’s so much BS out there to contend with. The boy/girl thing is overly complicated for no reason at all; people play all these games these days. I’ll put it like Diddy did:
I’m through with being a player & and a baller,
I just need one bad chick so I could spoil her.
[Not to say I was a player.]

Funny how things change: I recently went out to a club in PA. The music was banging and the crowd was right. My song came on & I perused the floor looking for a candidate. I went over to her and was like:
“Would you like to dance?”
“Sure,” she replied. So we started dancing. This went on for some time.
“Would you mind if I touched you?!” I yelled in her ear to be heard over the music.
“Go ahead!” she replied. So I grabbed her… ummm, waist and we danced some more. A couple of minutes later she leaned over & bellowed.
“You’re not from around here, are you?!” she asked.
“Nah,” I relied. “I’m just visiting!”
“I knew it!” she said. “Guys from around here aren’t so respectful. It’s refreshing!”

That conversation would never have taken place a few years ago, coz I’d have just jumped in for the kill and grabbed the girl. Not to say I wouldn’t do that now, but that right there was a lesson that it sometimes pays to be gentlemanly. Notice I said sometimes.

In the past, all the girls I messed with knew where I lived. Big mistake, especially since I’ve had my fair share of stalker-chicks. Now, the girls that know my crib are fewer than the digits in my one hand and are mostly just friends. [Not that I’ve just one arm – get it right! :)] As it were, that’s a great thing, coz I now don’t have to worry about anyone coming thru to check on whether I was home, pounding on my door at 3am and sh*t.

I’d imagine it’s almost inevitable that each of us get attracted, at some point or other, to a friend. My advice: don’t venture past the friendship threshold if you don’t wanna put y’all’s friendship on the line. Do it only if just being friends isn’t enough. Few people, if any, ever become more than friends and later revert to being good friends again. It’s never quite the same.

Ex-es are from hell. The further you stay away from them the better, till y’all can meet up amicably without making a spectacle of yourselves; either that or finding yourselves deep in the throes of ex-sex, which is 2nd only to make-up sex, only to regret it 2 seconds after it’s all over.

Sleep is important, and I need it now.

PS: Regarding all that religious talk this past weekend: Psalm 53:1-3.

12 comments:

Komi said...

Nice post and I am one bad chick that needs spoiling ha ha.

I also don't show guys my crib, not anymore anyway. I like the privacy that comes with it plus many guys stop dating you once they know your house. They just show up at your door.

Then on taking friends beyond the friendship threshold, been there, done that. Never again! Being just friends is good for me.

I want to meet strangers,fall in love and if they break my heart they get shipped back to where they came from.

makanga said...

"I’d rather be with an average-looking chick that stimulates me and with whom I connect, than with a drama queen dime-piece who bores me stiff."

Preach!

If you can't see ol' girl having your babies then you leave the L-word out of the relationship.

I can actually testify to doing the friend-to-lover-back-to-friend thing and like you said it's not easy. But I worked it out though.

Gish said...

Eureka, you figured it out. thanks for this one.
"don’t venture past the friendship threshold if you don’t wanna put y’all’s friendship on the line. Do it only if just being friends isn’t enough. Few people, if any, ever become more than friends and later revert to being good friends again. It’s never quite the same."

Msanii_XL said...

"I’d rather be with an average-looking chick that stimulates me and with whom I connect, than with a drama queen dime-piece who bores me stiff."

Truth.com

Cosign what my man makanga said ...

Princess said...

The ex-es are from hell comment is sooo true!!

>d® said...

>Komi: Ha ha, I can see that - dudes just showing up at your door!

>Makanga: If I can't see her having my babies, huh? Hmmm, good stuff; I'll mull over that one for a minute.

>Gish: Wsup. Yeah, that
happened
to me. Not pretty.

>Msanii: Thanks for coming thru.

>Princess: Yup, they're nothing but trouble!

ciiku said...

Oh.My.Damn..... you dance?

LMAO

@ Komu
I want to meet strangers,fall in love and if they break my heart they get shipped back to where they came from.

I am so feeling this statement.

And Dee darling... I like your relationship posts.... they make me smile!

mwah!

>d® said...

Hell yeah I dance. It might not be much more than the two-step or the rockaway, but it's something. I get lost in the music sometimes, what can I say!

Girl next door said...

Confessing love for someone is a serious thing, I wish more people would realize that. It's always wise to keep stalkers at a distance. Problem is, you can't always tell who'll pull those stunts on you. I also guard my privacy after a bad experience. Most of us have been attracted to a friend. You spend lots of time around them. It seems perfect at first 'cause you already know the person. Unfortunately, a breakup usually means losing that close friendship and that's the most tragic thing of all.

egm said...

Agreed on the average lady I have a connection with vs the fly-looking lady with whom moments of awkward silence abound.

B.E.T. said...

It takes alot to let a person know that you Love them.I mean,why get into a relationship when you know that you're really not feeling the other person? I totally agree with u,"don't venture past the friendship threshold if you don't wanna put y'all's friendship on the line." As to whether or not people remain GOOD friends after a breakup really depends on how the relationship ended. For instance, if someone breaksup with you through e-mail,this tells you that he/she doesn't want to see your ass again!

Nice Post!

>d® said...

>Girl Next Door: Nicely put. It sucks to lose a close friend.

>EGM: Yup. That awkward silence sucks. With someone u connect with, the silence even speaks volumes.

>BET: Wsup girl. Yeah, the love thing sometimes takes major balls to profess, I agree.
One thing I've recently learned - the mind shouldn't interfere with the heart.