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Laid back; chilled out.

Sunday, June 25, 2006


There’s a saying that goes something like ‘good things come in twos.’ Well, bad things do too, as I recently learned. Like Buff, I managed to misplace my cell phone. Notice I didn’t say lose. It just vanished. Foul play, perhaps? Whatever man, stuff always gets lost. Or stolen – whatever. All good. Then, the Lancer needs some maintenance, which is never cheap. As much pleasure as it brings me, it's only right that I spend some money on it. [Wait, that sounds like a hook from some rap song, doesn't it?]

For most of my adult life I’ve endured taunts about my indeliberate tendency to use big words in ordinary sentences. Not that it ever bothered me really, no. It’s just that if I can use 1 good word in the place of 5, why use the 5, nah mean? It’s just that, for me, English is such a wonderfully manipulatable language. In what other language can you so effectively say stuff like:

- Imma smack the black off of you.
- How Stella got her groove back.
- Game recognize game. Hoes do too.
- Keep your pimp hand strong.
- I am the eventuality of an anomaly.
- Me, myself and I[rene].
- For shizzle dizzle.

Next to Keguro, the only other person I know who gives me a run for my money when it comes to grammar is >D. [Not to be confused with >d, coz that’s me.] She sometimes uses words in a sentence that I swear do not exist but which turn out to be perfectly genuine.
I wish I had the same proficiency in Swa as I do in English tho, coz I’m hopelessly entranced by anyone who can speak in Swa like it’s 2nd nature, particularly becoz I never could speak fluently in it. All good.

I’ve been teaching my lil 16-year-old cousin how to drive a stick shift. Believe me, it took serious willpower and mad love to let her drive the Lancer, especially now that it’s got a bad clutch. Since the Lancer has no traction control like Ura’s or V^6’s, she was leaving strips of rubber all over the Metro parking lot while trying to get used to the whole clutch/gas pedal thing. I’ve had to teach quite a number of people how to drive, guys mostly, especially since I started driving at 10. My cuz is only the 3rd girl I’ve taught to drive and is by far the most difficult. She’s got a thing for high revs, hence the burnouts every time she takes off. [In the genes, maybe?] Thing is tho, I’ve had to revise my language when instructing her. I can’t very well tell her to make love to the clutch or go easy on the gas like it’s the first time. I definitely can’t tell her to lean back, take a deep breath and relax. I’m her cousin, damnit, and her adopted big brother to boot, so I had to revise my entire strategy – and language. It went OK tho. Girls are such fun to teach stuff to - and to learn from. Quote me on that.

It’s been raining bullets all weekend long. It actually started raining on Thursday and hasn’t let up since. Not torrential, incessant rain, no. This is more like sporadic and profuse, intense enough to cause flash floods and stuff. Not only that but it’s still hot as hell, rain or not. Weird; interesting but weird. Global warming to blame for this extreme weather, perhaps?

Speaking of which, the flash flooding is also to blame for power lines and broadband being down the past couple of days. It’s amazing how much the internet has become a part of our lives, which makes me think about the future of our internet. Since it’s got so much junk already, is it ever gonna get better? Like, I made a conscious decision to revert back to Windows 2000 Pro from XP Pro. Windows XP seems to have lost control of itself, dragging you down with it. The number of Spam, Adware and viruses that seem to be hopelessly drawn to XP are mind-blowing. With 2000 Pro I’ve only installed Norton Antivirus, Spybot 1.3 and ZoneAlarm as barriers against all that junk and the comps have been stable for a month now without any variation in my surfing habits. Of course I use Opera or Mozilla to surf instead of Internet Explorer. In any case, to find out where we’re headed in this information superhighway check this out.

I owe one to the Boston crew for showing me mad love yet again when I was over there for all of a day and a half. I love y’all. CK, you rule.

Why is virtually every married person I know going through some sort of unbelievable drama? As much as I might want to in future, is it even worth it?

Have a good, stress-free week. Try to, anyway.


CiikuMrsBabes said...

Can I do a jig please???? Coz I am first....

HA HA on losing the phone. Sorry tho but u did laugh at me so I just wanted to return the favor. I keep thinking mine will turn up somewhere... who knows???

The rain is killing me... Texas was all hot and I was loving it and then I land.... BAM! Rain! Not enjoying it one bit......

Be well darling

Anonymous said...

Even I won't kick u while ur down...sorry bout the phone...
Thanks for the shoutout, tho now i seem more of a dork than u do....u n ur big words..manipulatable? wat???? Wow..."taunts" "indeliberate"...ok, quit it w/ the big words. Too many in one sentence. U might not say those things to ur cuz but need i remind u of about 3 years ago n the things she used to say then??? Refer to Ludacris' lyrics. Best of luck homes....speakin of drama...yea, i'm back in it...


|d®| said...

Buff: Yeah, it sucks not having the phone, which is like my sole link to the outside world. Luckily the internet came back on this morning so it's all good.

Still flooding like crazy tho. Took me 3 hrs to get 2 work, keeping in mind it's typically a 12 minute drive.

Tried out the worm candy yet? :)

>D: You and I know I've got nothing on you when it comes to vocabulary, truth be told.

Sorry about the other Friday. Wsup this Friday?

Oh, don't even go there, about the youngns reciting Luda's & Akinyele's lyrics. They're on a whole 'nother level now. I just don't talk like that around them just so no one ever blames me for contributing to their arsenal of cusswords. The stuff they pick up from school is unbelievable. But I'm sure you already know that, first hand!

egm said...

Commenting on your using 1 good word in place of 5, I have this thought that American writing seems dumbed down. In college writing, it was impressed on us to avoid big words, and just use simple words instead. Which is not the same thing I remember from high school where maximizing on vocabulary was encouraged. Strange though, since tests like the SAT and GRE feature vocabulary heavy sections! Is there a disconnect somewhere? I remember reading a review by someone on a book he hated because of the "big words" used. His biggest beef was that he did not want to have to leaf through the dictionary every so often to get the meaning of words he was unfamiliar with used by the author. This is definitely contrary to what I was taught. That the best way to build your vocabulary was exactly this way, reading books and picking up words unfamiliar to you.

Agreed on the Kiswahili angle you bring up. I am woeful in that department. I try to speak it when among people that speak it. At work we have a Lotus Notes based collaboration tool, and whenever one of my colleagues who was in high school with me comes on, we do all our chatting in Kiswahili. I usually have the kamusi open. Lengo langu ni siku moja kuongea Kiswahili bila kuhitaji kuwa na kamusi karibu. Nimeanza kusoma mablogu zilizoandikwa kwa lugha ya Kiswahili. Mbali na hivi, niliagiza vitabu tulivyosoma katika fasihi shuleni kama vile Kusadikika na Kisima cha Giningi. Nimeanza pia kusoma habari katika BBC iliyoandikwa kwa lugha ya Kiswahili.

Kila la heri kwako!

Unknown said...

Hi Bro,
I've been out of the loop for a while busy and all, sorry I missed hooking up when u were in town, And I cant get any time off for July 4th weekend to Philly, sucks big time.
I really have to put my 2 cents in. Do not make the same mistakes I did when teaching the ladies how to drive a stick shift - doesnt sound right to begin with (we should be saying standard). If you use 'manual', means a different thing altogether - not good.

Now to logistics (I also know some 'inglish' but the truth is 'IT' invented the spell checker among other things . so we can get away with almost anything.
Anyway, I'm digressing... when teaching a lady, there are certain words/phrases that you need to stay the hell away from... they sound Naasty! May not seem like it at the time but i'ts very embarasing later on.
"Pop the clutch", not too bad, but... need I say more?
But the worst part is when you try to explain to anyone (man or woman) how to put the car in reverse. - Especially in a VW stick shift. Say it aloud, you'll know what I mean.


|d®| said...

>EGM: Hot dang, you seem to be doing alright for yourself in Swa. I ain't mad at u tho! Thanks for the Kamusi tip - priceless.

>Ura: Ha ha, picture that, me telling her to back it up!
All good man, about not being able to meet up. If anyone understands, I do. Work - a necessary evil, right? :)

Sorry about not being able to come down either. I'll be back in Bean Town before long, best believe that!

Anonymous said...

Lets see...this Fri...goin home Thur night hopefully, chill w/ my moms Fri, eat some of her cookin (she mentioned steak...wat can i say? Definitely not no) After that, wk at 3...I get off at 11. But if ur in the zone all weekend, let me know.

Like i said in the E-, don't even try to get on my educational experiences....we both know i never went to the Luda level...that's was after my time...lol. Oh, loved the video. Holla.

Anonymous said...

someone had a blog entry once where they were vibing re thungus and s/he was vibing about 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocius' and needless to say Kenyans (gotta love them ) came up with




But lovin' the anomaly expression- i've never heard it before and HATING the rain. Dude! Like clearly-- I'm getting on Guess' Arc no doubt.

|d®| said...

>D: I've got another video for you. Off the chain, I daresay. Hope your holiday's great so far.

>Muts: I'm [almost] sheepish to confess that I got the anomaly statement from The Matrix, the trilogy. But hey, the source isn't important, right?

Anonymous said...


Send me the link via E.

Holiday? Yes i worked today...figure this one out...
Happy 4th!


Anonymous said...

To quote Heavy D (and maybe The Boys) "I've got nothing but love for you baby.. What u got..?" You are very welcome, anytime. So when are we coming to W oops sorry there is no W in your VA! te he! So, when?

As far as the internet regulation thing and making us pay, I heard they were thinking of making the yous and mes pay for sending and receiving emails. Now that is some Buu $hit! Next they will charge us by the word. I can see it now "Click here for the first 500 Words FREE by opening an email account with us". Say No to Internet Regulation by the government. Money grabbing punks!

LOL @ Girls are such fun to teach stuff to - and to learn from. Quote me on that. Care to share what you've learnt?? I know... to Love Corona!

|d®| said...

Ha ha, u got jokes, trying to put the W in front of the VA! Never that!

Mi casa su casa.

Hmmm, I see someone yanked out my link to the Flash movie about Net Neutrality. All good tho, I guess. And yes, Uncle Sam is sneaky as hell. Like one judge said when I last went to traffic court, be careful of the freedoms you opt give up; you almost always end up getting screwed.

Exactly! See, I recently learned that Corona's way better. There's lots more I've learned from girls over the years, but that's another story!

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