I managed to get tagged by none other than The Acolyte. This was a long time coming; I was tagged a long minute ago - my bad Aco. Anyhow, here we go:
1. Favourite Kenya Food
- Chapo, hands down
- chips & saugages [can I get an amen, anyone?]
2. Favourite Kenyan Drink
- Coke baridi. [didn’t drink then. BET, can you believe it! Now I’m a connoisseur of sorts!]
3. Favourite Kenyan TV Programme
- Professional View [Just kidding. Who watched that show, ever, anyway?]
- Vitimbi & ‘em. [Hey, that’s all we could catch in Maragua - KBC. Mutumia, Guess, ain’t that the truth?]
4. Top 3 Kenyan Hangouts
Does chilling with the animals count? Coz that’s all I ever did when I was out there, in addition to working at the mugunda and driving mbuyu’s old pickup truck to & from Maragua to pick up animal feed. There, that’s my 3 hangout spots.
5. Top Holiday Kenyan Destination
- Coast, no doubt
6. 3 Kenyan phrases you use a lot (ati, nini, nani DO NOT count and neither does bilaz!)
- "Umedinya point." [Thanks to my estranged friend J]
- "Ukwenda gutamuruo."
- "pale pale, huko huko" [while mimicking Kibaki]
7. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
- Kenyan dudes all of a sudden want to get married, and it doesn’t seem to matter who to
- To second Aco, Kenyan girls & guys don’t seem to see eye to eye lately
- The hating we do. C’mon, be happy for your fellow countryman when he/she does better than you!
8. Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
- “You speak so well for an African!”
- “Huh? Say what? I still don’t understand you!” Understand these n*ts, mo%herf*cker! [excuse my French]
- “You speak African?”
9. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know.
- Yes, I did wear clothes. [I still do, as you can see] I even wore diapers when I was an infant. True, they were cotton & re-usable but they were diapers nonetheless.
- Every country in Africa is self-governing. And just to reiterate, there’s no such language as ‘African.’
- Don’t believe everything you see in the Discovery channel. With the exception of the larger-than-life penises sported by the near-naked dudes. Oh, and we don’t wear clothes coz it’s hot as hell.
10. Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because…..
- ….I said so and you don’t know no better. What?