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Laid back; chilled out.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


I managed to get tagged by none other than The Acolyte. This was a long time coming; I was tagged a long minute ago - my bad Aco. Anyhow, here we go:

1. Favourite Kenya Food
- Chapo, hands down
- Ug
- Nyamchom

- chips & saugages [can I get an amen, anyone?]

2. Favourite Kenyan Drink

- Coke baridi. [didn’t drink then. BET, can you believe it! Now I’m a connoisseur of sorts!]

3. Favourite Kenyan TV Programme

- Redykyulass

- Professional View [Just kidding. Who watched that show, ever, anyway?]
- Vitimbi & ‘em. [Hey, that’s all we could catch in Maragua - KBC. Mutumia, Guess, ain’t that the truth?]

4. Top 3 Kenyan Hangouts
Does chilling with the animals count? Coz that’s all I ever did when I was out there, in addition to working at the mugunda and driving mbuyu’s old pickup truck to & from Maragua to pick up animal feed. There, that’s my 3 hangout spots.

5. Top Holiday Kenyan Destination
- Coast, no doubt

6. 3 Kenyan phrases you use a lot (ati, nini, nani DO NOT count and neither does bilaz!)
- "Umedinya point." [Thanks to my estranged friend J]

- "Ukwenda gutamuruo."
- "pale pale, huko huko" [while mimicking Kibaki]

7. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
- Kenyan dudes all of a sudden want to get married, and it doesn’t seem to matter who to

- To second Aco, Kenyan girls & guys don’t seem to see eye to eye lately
- The hating we do. C’mon, be happy for your fellow countryman when he/she does better than you!

8. Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
- “You speak so well for an African!”

- “Huh? Say what? I still don’t understand you!” Understand these n*ts, mo%herf*cker! [excuse my French]
- “You speak African?”

9. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know.
- Yes, I did wear clothes. [I still do, as you can see] I even wore diapers when I was an infant. True, they were cotton & re-usable but they were diapers nonetheless.

- Every country in Africa is self-governing. And just to reiterate, there’s no such language as ‘African.’
- Don’t believe everything you see in the Discovery channel. With the exception of the larger-than-life penises sported by the near-naked dudes. Oh, and we don’t wear clothes coz it’s hot as hell.

10. Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because…..
- ….I said so and you don’t know no better. What?


Anonymous said...

chips & saugages [can I get an amen, anyone?] ....CB's anyone? lol I stay ordering this here combination when i go out there not as good as the one at home....but

No more dr pepper?

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious >d® - ati hanging with animals (I do love hanging with animals, they beat humans hands down...)

Chips and sausages - [amen] - them fat chips and farmer's choice sausages - heaven.

I dont drink coke normally but in Paris I had the bottled Coke and it was heaven - I had two cold ones and it was absolutely freezing - I didnt care :)

Vitimbi eh? LOL@ KBC - at least we had KTN after a while.. Football made in Germany (there was nothing to watch on Saturday night and you had to suffer that to watch the weekend movie - seriously.

LOL do I need to do my own tag coz this one just about covers all I could say...

Anonymous said...

lol at only getting KBC!
I'll reserve my comments on other issues

mutumia said...

LOL and then LOL again at the "don't believe the hype" (except for large unmentionabos- (Milo, 2005) of natives)--- he he he... >d good move--- giving yourself a shout out on the blog.

Na hiyo ni maendeleo!

Anonymous said...

@ >d
This post was so so so on point!Pole for the animal farm maisha but I am sure that you had a ball.Like many other Kenyans I cant ever remember having watched a whole episode of proffesional view!As for peeps with that marriage fever?!Sheesh I plan to be rich,have a big house,many dogs and shag as many young beautiful women from all races and places!As for the hating I wonder what's wrong with our fellow Kenyans!Jungus jungus jungus sometimes I wish they would just shut up, then again when they see my mean mug they do!

|d®| said...

>Msanii: The combo here is not even close to being in the same vicinity as the one at home, that's faw shaw. Oh, & Dr. Pepper's still at the top.

>Guess: *groan* Don't even remind me of 'Football made in Germany.' I love me some soccer but that used to be like every weekend. A little variety, perhaps?
That and 'Dunia Wiki Hii,' most of which was MO1 globetrotting. Like we gave a damn.

Yeah, KBC was all I knew for the longest. The standard 'rabbit-ears' antenna couldn't catch anything at all so there was this gigantic antenna on top of the house. And that didn't ensure crystal clear quality either, & most of the time my bros or I would get up there and twist it while yelling at my other bro who's looking at the 13" black & white TV like: "How about now? Better?"

|d®| said...

>Farmgal: Wsup girl.
Thankfully KBC got a little better after KTN gave them a run for their money. Punks.

|d®| said...

>Mutumia: Ha ha, it's not like that was a shout-out to myself! I prefer to leave that assertion to whoever I may be with!

>Aco: Yeah, people ask the stupidest questions sometimes, like what part of Africa Zamunda is. *slapping forehead*

Like Mutumia says, I blame the media.

Anonymous said...

AMEN on the chips n sausage...the ideal food of the poor as i came to find out this past winter.
Wat bout vioja mahakamani???? Plot 10??? they were the sh**.
Gotta say the one that irks me the most is "Do u speak kenyan?" n "Did you speak English before comin to the US?" (Yes m-f*er. as a matter of fact i did. Better than all your ancestors combined even!)
LMAO on the "Understand these n*ts" comment
Overall, hilarious survey.

-ur long lost friend,

|d®| said...

D? As in DD?! OMG, wsup girl. My bad for the too-long & completely unintentional incommunicado. Hope everything's kosher. :)
I'll hit up when you're available - you know how we do!

CiikuMrsBabes said...

he he he he >d.... he! And then again! I had even forgotten about 'Football made in Germany'.. and then when I read that I kumbukad 'George Michael Sports Machine'... he he... Damn! The good ol' days! *shaking head*

Anonymous said...

Yes, the one n only D. Holla whenever, however. Number n email r still the same. Called u to wish u happy new year n all. neway, holla at me sometime.

|d®| said...

>Buff: I actually liked the Sports Machine since it was basically sports highlights.

>D: Alright cool, I'll hit u up. My #'s still the same too; don't change it once a year like I used to!

Whispering Inn said...

Amen to the Chips and Sausage!

gishungwa said...

first things first
Amen to the chips and sausages.
then niukwenda gutamurwo just had me there allow me to adopt it. this is yet another great post. thankyoumade ,me laugh.

Anonymous said...

Let me start off by saying niukwenda gutamurwo...n i'm serious. I think u know wat this pertains to. If not, check ur phone.


|d®| said...

My bad D. Was on C-Mode this weekend, if you catch my drift. I'll hit u up later on tonight tho.

|d®| said...

>Whispering Inn: I heard that!

>Gishungwa: Ha ha, feel free to adopt it! I even say that to Americans but they're always like huh? Then I'm like: 'Oh, nothing, just thinking out loud.'

Anonymous said...

wasup >d® ?

|d®| said...

>Farmgal: Wsup girl, what's good? Wuzzup? What's crackin'? What it do?

Farmgal said...

uchokozi tu!