INALIENABLE TRUTHS

There’s nothing like a lazy weekend to make one think about stuff, life in general. I particularly didn’t do too much this weekend, partly because I was – and still am – a little under the weather [flu] and partly because I chose not to do anything. I’m usually restless all the time but I’m trying to get some decent shuteye while I can. I don’t know if this is true for y’all but sleep for me is cumulative, as in I can sleep all day and night one day and be awake all of the following day and night. Weird but true.

In any case, I was thinking a lot about the boy-meets-girl-likes-girl-she-likes-him-back thing and these are some of the things that stood out for me. Feel free to agree/disagree with any of them.

- Every man fancies himself a player [few really are]

- A true player doesn’t brag about his exploits.

- A lot of girls are fine but they don’t know it.

- [I said this once before] Even though a girl might smile at you she really might hate your guts.

- A lot of women are players. They do a much better job at it too.

- Women think about sex just as much as men do, if not more so.

- Women have the uncanny ability to remember things in explicit detail. Ask your girl what you were wearing the night you first met – she’ll remember.

- Fellas, think about it: The average girl gets hit on at least a couple of times a day, every day. Please upgrade your pick-up lines. Gone are the days of lines like: You must have a mirror in your pants coz I see me in ‘em. Be original. Please.

- Once a man is in a woman’s heart other men, to her, seem bland in comparison. Not so for men. A dude can penda a girl to death but will still be momentarily sidetracked by some foxy feline. It doesn’t mean he likes his girl any less though. [F_ed up but true]

- A dude that compliments a girl all the time is full of $hit. Believe that ladies.

- It’s really all about the nookie for us. At least 98% of the time.

- You never really know someone until you live with them for about a week.

- Men tell the most lies. Women tell the biggest lies. Typical male lie: I was over at my boy’s house. Typical female lie: of all the people I’ve been with you’re the biggest.

- A woman knows that she digs a dude from the first moment. A dude might not think about it right away but after some time [or after a couple of beers] he'll be like: Hmm, she’s kinda hot.

- Beauty and brains seldom occupy the same space at the same time. There’s the occasional exception though. This goes both ways, male or female.

- You almost always meet a guy/girl’s representative when you first meet them, not their true self.

- No one's unattainable. Ask my boy Danc. [Wsup playa]

- If you can make her laugh you’re halfway there.

- A woman doesn’t want a guy no one else wants. That’s why girls are hopelessly attracted to bad boys and playas.

- A woman never forgets. Never. Did I say never?

- You’re only as faithful as your options. Otherwise the moment someone better comes along you’re out of the current relationship in a quick minute.

- [This one I’ve never understood, but it’s true. From my experience anyway] The more you don’t pay a girl no mind the more she seems to like you. Correct me if I’m wrong.

- If you’re like myself who’s blessed/cursed with somewhat youthful looks and who always seems to attract the young’ns, always ask the other person’s age before doing anything ‘incriminating.’ Ask for ID if you have to. Trust me on this one.

- Talk to your girl. I mean, really talk to your girl. It can mean the difference between a good or bad relationship.

- This whole boy/girl thing is not that serious. It really isn’t. Relax. If it happens, it happens; if it don’t, it don’t. Chill the f_*k out.

- Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Quit thinking about talking to that girl in the corner. Go ahead and do it. What’s the worst that could happen? Act like Chris Brown and ask her if her man’s on the floor and if he ain’t to let you know. If she’s not feeling you I’m sure you’ll know in a quick minute.

- Lots of people say they’re happily single but that’s a bunch of bull. Man isn’t a solitary animal.

- A guy always exaggerates the number of chics he’s been with. A woman always understates it.

Dang, it seems like I bit off more than I can chew with this post; I can go on and on with this. Help me out here.