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Laid back; chilled out.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Been liking the various Sheng posts lately. If anything, those posts make me green with envy because I can’t speak in Sheng for sh*t, or Swa for that matter. I am, however, a regular Ebonics speaker.

I’m not even close to being an authority in Ebonics, but I get by. Seeing how it was popularized, created even, by African Americans, or blacks for that matter, it has the capacity to be plenty interesting – and colorful. Think of it as American Sheng.

Using Ebonics regularly will enrich your life, I guarantee it, just as long as you don’t completely surrender to using it all the time. Like, you don’t wanna meet your very white [Chad-white, as Chapelle might say] boss in the hallways in the morning and be like: Wat up big pimpin’! See what I mean? It has to be controllable. And voluntary.

Firstly, learn and implement everyday Ebonic words in the place of other everyday words. For instance, use gwop or kake in the place of money, whip instead of car, jizz-ob instead of job, ignant instead of ignorant, axx instead of ask and numerous others, too many to list.

Next, change your government name into something more – shall we say – contemporary. Names such as Jay-Bug, Tiny, Big Mac, Dee-Money, [*gulp*] Buck-Nasty or even Tyrone or Jerome would do quite nicely. Ladies, consider names like Peaches, Precious, Mercedes, Porsche or from any other nice-sounding foreign car. Either that or add a ‘La’ or 'Sha' before your reg’lar name. For instance, if your name’s Nancy, change it to LaNancy or ShaNancy. Catchy, ain't it?

More importantly, rephrase everyday statements and spit them in Ebonics. Few other ummm…. dialects, if you will, paint a better picture than Ebonics would. For example, replace some of the phrases on the left with the ones on the right:

For sure – For shizzle/Faw shaw
Cell phone – Cellie
Good morning – Wsup
Good afternoon – Wsup
Good evening – Wsup
Hi – Whas good/What it be like
This is good – This is off the chain/chizz-ain/meat-rack/richter

With regular usage of some of those phrases, you will pretty soon be able to construct more complex sentences. Like, and pardon the crudeness, instead of saying:
“My word, she’s got big old titties!” you would say
“Good Lawd, she got tig ol’ bitties!”

Or instead of:
“Wow, this marijuana joint is one of the best I ever smoked. Let me have another go at it!” you would say
“Oh sh*t, this spliff is like that! You know what it is tho, puff-puff-give, so puff!”

See what I mean, good people? Keep practicing – you won’t regret it. Your verbal dexterity will never be the same. I guarantee it.


Anonymous said...

lmmfao @ Chad White!

|d®| said...

Remember the skit about one white-boy living with a bunch of blacks? Too funny!

Kelitu said...

What it do? What da bidness is?!

Aight kid, so check this out. I'm feeling this ebonics thing you got going on.
Gotta drop a bit of knowledge on the masses tho'. Gotta edumacate our people man. Datzwhazup!

That stint about adding La to Nancy, now that sh*t be mad funny son. Wonder how dem ethnic names would sound tho'. It's all good nahmean? 'Em African sistas be mad fine cuz.

LOL! Okay, that's my take on Ebonics. I can't speak it for real, i'm very chad-white even when dealing with Akataz.

Anonymous said...

Yo...lmao @ Tyrone n Jerome.....

"U betta call Tyroooooonnnnne" a la Ms. Badu.

Lmao @ Chapelle too...been watchin it all weekend...both seasons.

|d®| said...

>Kelitu: Ha ha, that's pretty good! Shoot, I forgot about 'what it do,' and I use that like once every day!

>D: Incidentally, I was flipping thru the DVDs too this past Friday. Dude is insane. The one about Sam Jackson, as opposed to Sam Adams, had me rolling!

CiikuMrsBabes said...

Damn son!
I be callin'

etc..... etc...

This is why I can't be darted by an ebonics speaking akataa... that shit be getting on my last nerves when they speak it. But I LOVE to write it. Cant hate on that swagger... nah'mean???

Oh! I dont forget to change the tenses.... ala.....

See, me and shorty was going to the mall.....


But my new thing is slave speak... but thats coz I be watching old ass movies.....

|d®| said...

How about: You see what had happened was... :)

Slave speak?! For real? Words like massa, suh and the like?